Ya know what I miss...

...having someone to watch sunday afternoon movies with. Thats the thing about being in a relationship. You always have someone there to do chill relax things with on the spur of the moment. I've called all my friends, all two of them, and everyone is busy. So its either another glass of wine by myself or boring tv. I think I need a hobby. ugh. hobbies.

Funny how things change...

I'm having one of my weak moment in this long process. Cleaning up some old photos/video isn't helping..or maybe it is.

Charlotte Martin - Everytime It Rains

Thoughts, details and pics about Fire Island coming soon. But until then, my current state of emotions

Charlotte Martin - Everytime It Rains

Fire Island. Thoughts, pics and details coming soon. But until then this in my current state of emotions

Kick This! Team Photo

Kick This! Team Photo, originally uploaded by BillyNYC.

Our kickball team didn't win the playoffs but we had an amazing showing. The other team went into the playoffs undefeated and the last time we played them they beat us 15-4. We pulled ahead in the 2nd inning at 2-1 but lost the lead bottom of the 4th. I'm sad that the season is over, it feels like we just got into a grove. If there was an award for most improved team (our second game we lost 27-1) we would have won it . All of us showed great skill and really showed our stuff. Besides its not weather we won or lost but how we played the game. And we rocked out!

Final score:
Kick This! - 3
Drinkers with a kicking problem - 4

Next up, Vollyball and Touch Football. Bring it!

Its been a long time...

So remember when I said I was going to stop the whole dating thing. Yeah, not so much. I actually had a lot of fun this past weekend. My current update:

Had a third date with BD guy, we ordered in and rented a movie. He wanted me to stay the night. I got weirded out and kinda ran out of his place.

Had a 5th date with the accountant. Yes, I said I wouldn't BUT no plans on Friday + his text message = something to do. I hadn't seen him in two months and had forgotten how cute he was. I actually had a great time with him. We did a late dinner since he was just getting him from London. We had coffee and I read the times in bed with him the next morning. He's gone for another three weeks but wanted to see me "the moment" he got off the plane. He's kinda square and doesn't really know about pop culture..but I think I like that.

First 'real' date with videogame guy. He's new to WTWTG. He's 23, into video games and comic books. So basically he's 16. I'm not sure we have much in common and he says things like "your the hottest guy" in true 23 yr old fashion. It all sounds very rehearsed and makes my eyes roll involuntarily.

So I guess from the above, you could say I'm dating. I'm starting to get into it and understand it better. I'm not really expecting much from anyone but I think that's the way it should be. Plus if I say, "yes this guy" then that closes off all the other possibilities. And all I want right now are possibilities.

Love it!

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Beer Blast sunday at the Eagle

The Non-Date Date

Right now I would be getting off a ferry in Ptown but instead I'm trapped at work reading a 233 page spec. I cxled my ptown plans because I just wasn't up for another crazy weekend. I need some time to think and figure out what my next steps are going to be.

I had a very cool impromptu dinner with my roommate's friend I met a couple of weeks ago. One text message and 15 mins later we were having mexican food in union square. It was a very causal non-date date. I've been kinda flaky with him. First saying we should go out, then changing my mind, then stating the following:

----------------------

[17:40] WilSgfrd: i think I'm going to head out

[17:40] WilSgfrd: sorry if I've been alittle on the flaky side about meeting up

[17:41] WilSgfrd: I just think I'm not dealing well with being single thing

[17:42] WilSgfrd: and I'm still kinda figuring things out for me

[17:43] WilSgfrd: anyway

[17:48] Roommate’s Friend: hey

[17:48] RF: I understand better than you think

[17:48] RF: which is why I've only been politely nudging you :)

[17:50] WilSgfrd: i think what I need more then anything now are just friends

[17:51] RF: one always needs good friends

[17:51] WilSgfrd: so if you want to hang out and maybe catch a movie or something, without all the bs of dating, or hooking up..then i'd be up for that

[17:53] WilSgfrd: ...

[17:55] RF: um absolutely!

[17:55] RF: I'm never much of a dating person anyway

[17:56] RF: I'd much rather hang out first

[17:56] WilSgfrd: cool

[17:56] WilSgfrd: :)

[17:56] RF: so definitely

[17:57] WilSgfrd: and if your [CENSORED] happens to land [CENSORED], so be it

[17:57] WilSgfrd: :P

[17:57] RF: hahahah

[17:57] RF: exactly!

[17:57] WilSgfrd: i gotta run

[17:57] WilSgfrd: ttyl

[17:57] RF: cool

[17:57] RF: have a good one :)

----------------

After dinner we did dessert (yes, actual dessert, dirty readers) and then I walked with him to meet his friends. He invited me to say hi to them but I just wasn't really up for being social. Its like there is this invisible cube around me. I can see out of it but I just can't break out of my box.

A friend I had dinner with said I'm just now getting to the angry part of my process. My apathy towards dating, friends, family and work have all been pissing me off lately. But its really just my anger about my break up. Angry that I have to deal with being single again, which feels so isolating and strange after being in a relationship for 4.5 years. She said that if I can just stop fighting the anger and let it be there maybe thats the way out of my cube/box thing. Oh and something about finding Jesus.

The park I walk through every morning.